My Jungbub Journal – Forty-sixth Day of Dong-ahn-guh (winter meditation retreat)
(I couldn’t write my journal last night. I’m writing it the next day.)
My third test – Arguing with my landlord
It’s an intense test.
We cleaned our house on Sunday afternoon.
I was sweeping the floor and my wife was cleaning the shower tub.
At the time, our landlord was talking to another tenant. The tenant complaint that he doesn’t have enough hot water. We also have suffered from the same issue. Every night, we concern what if we don’t have hot water during the shower.
Their conversation can be heard clearly at the bathroom. They literally talk under our windows.
The landlord accused us, “It’s because they (he meant us) use the washing machine fucking every day.”
What?! Mary was very shocked and told me what they were talking.
First, we don’t use the washing machine every day. Second, we don’t use hot water during our laundry at all because we know that we don’t have enough hot water.
The landlord is not an educated man and acts emotionally. We knew that he lies and changes his words often.
But, now is enough.
I came down and wanted to make it clear while all of us are together.
I argued. The landlord looks like he was offended. He said “What! Do you want to box with me? If it’s 20 years ago, I would box and wrestle.” How silly is the question?!
I said, “Why did you say we use the washing machine fucking every day!? We don’t use it every day.”
“I’m your landlord. I use it only once a week. I don’t use it often. So, when I want to wash my cloth, if it’s occupied, something is wrong. It’s because you wash every day.”
-It’s not true. We use the washing machine about three times a week. Three households are sharing one wash machine, so sometimes we have to wait. But he kept saying just because he is a landlord, he should be able to use it whenever he want.-
“I said Don’t use wash machine on Sunday”
-He never said that. Just told me to arrange the schedule with the other tenant. He mentioned that several times.-
“You don’t use wash machine when I want to use it.”
-Ridiculous. I don’t know when he wants to use it.-
“Today is not a good day. I lost the football. I lost my money. You should not say to your landlord like that. I can give you 30 days notice. No doubt it will be filled right away after you leave. It’s my house.”
We were arguing. Whenever he spoke nonsense, I replied. It made him more upset. But I wanted to stop him from accusing us of what we didn’t do.
He said, “We need to talk seriously tomorrow. Pick your time.” So, we made an appointment at 10 AM this morning.
What I learned from this episode
This house has a beautiful view. We enjoy the gorgeous sunset over the Pacific Ocean every evening. Considering the view, the rent price is affordable. Even if he charges more fee, people will still make a line to live here.
Now, we understand why he put the low price in the place. He, also use only a month-to-month contract. It’s perfect to control the tenant. He can kick out people whenever he wants. There are no rules. He believes that what he says is the rule in this house because he is The Land-“Lord”.
I meditated on this episode. Why did it happen? Did I break the rule of dong-ahn-guh (winter meditation)?
As I understand, I don’t need to feel guilty for what I did. It happened because my energy level is not high enough to handle it wisely. I know myself. When I face an unfair situation or an authority who tries to manipulate and deceive us, I don’t surrender.
And we reached the limit of our endurance about his dishonest words and behaviors. The universe knew that when it happens, I would speak up my voice. Then, why does the universe give me this cruel test? It’s obvious that I can’t pass it.
What would be a right response to the situation? When Mary talked to me about their complaint, should I have pulled her to the lanai and as watching the ocean, said “Please, don’t care about that. We are just tenants and he is a landlord. The reason why we’re living here is that we don’t have enough money to buy a house in Hawaii. He inherited this land & house and we’re living here. So whatever he does to us, we have to endure it as long as we live here. Yielding is winning eventually. It’s the universal law.” Is that what the universe wanted me to say? I don’t know. I don’t want to make a conclusion yet.
Surely, what I found out is that my energy is strong and overwhelming sometimes. The landlord looks like in his fifties and weighs more than 250 lbs. He doesn’t wear shirts all year around, so he has dark brown skin. The big man felt threatened by my arguing. I need to watch my pattern and learn how to control it.
At night, I couldn’t fall asleep easily. I felt that my wife also had a hard time to sleep. In the evening, she kept saying “Sorry. Sorry.” I said, “No, no. It’s not your fault. We can let him speak the nonsense anymore.” It must have been shocking to her.
We discussed how to handle it. Both agreed to move out of here. Probably, the landlord is taking the role of a delegate of the universe. Maybe, the universe wants us to move out. Even if we solve this situation well and return to the normal life, soon the next episode will happen and it will be three times more intense than now. So we will move out.
Yet, it’s not easy to find an available rental place with the short notice. So expensive and so many conditions. We need time. So, tomorrow I will say we want to stay here. Pass this intense situation, find the proper place and move out.
Last night, I made a ginseng tea with an insta pod. That’s the favorite one of the landlord.
Our meeting in the next morning
I prepared myself and came down at 9:55 am. I heard his footsteps a few times. But, he didn’t show up.
I decided not to move until he shows up. Imagined two energy pillars came out from the bottoms of my feet and traveled down to the center of the earth. I created an energy field around me and the house. Started chanting Chun-bu-kyung to purify the energy.
Definitely, we disturbed the energy by arguing here yesterday. As I apologize, I chanted Chun-bu-kyung.
He still didn’t show up. I check the time. Already 30 minutes passed. My feet were completely fastened to the ground by energetic pillars. I didn’t move even an inch.
Suddenly I felt that the universe tries to give me a punishment for disturbing the neighbors and breaking dong-ahn-guh rules. If the feeling is right, it’s an easy punishment! I can do that well.
I asked, ‘how long should I stand here?’ It answered, ‘One hour.’ All right, already half an hour passed. I continued to chant and also practiced tai-chi in my mind. I didn’t move my physical body but just by imagining, I felt my breath got deeper and my joint were opening.
The second half passed much quicker. It felt like five munites. At 11:03 am, I came into the house and picked up a piece of paper where his phone number is written. Then, came down. I called him. He didn’t pick up the phone as I expected. I left a message.
My voice message to the landlord
As I rang him, in my mind, I thought, ‘hey, I just finished my punishment. Now it’s your turn. I don’t know what the universe is preparing for you but you will have to compensate for it.’
Of course, I didn’t say that. Instead, I left my message loudly. The neighbors heard our arguing, so they knew we would meet again. This morning was very queit. So queit. I could hear only the sound of wind in the sky and geckos on the ground. I got the punishment there for one hour without moving my feet even half an inch. Now, I spoke to the phone loudly.
“Hi, R***. You wanted to meet me this morning. But you didn’t show up. Alright. You asked about our decision. I talked to my wife. She loves this place and she wants to stay. I also believe this place is very special. That’s our answer. Also, we understand that you said we don’t use the washing machin on Sunday. We discussed about that. We will not use the washing machine on Sunday, Monday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Will only use it on Tuesday and Wednesday. I respect you as a landlord and respect the rule of the house. When it’s clear, we will follow it but if it’s confusing, how can we follow it? That’s what we promise. If you don’t like it, call us. Also, I made a ginseng tea. Please enjoy it.”
I came back to my desk and sat down. It was very comfortable.
What an intense 18 hours!