(Continuing from episode 1)
A. Referring back to the question, let’s say you dislike the person who is willing to give you help. Why can’t you appreciate the help? Because you are thinking, “Gosh, I’ve already got what you have.” Okay? Now that is arrogance. The arrogance of a man who possesses enough.
When someone approaches you for help during your period of hardship, you would never hate that person.
When you already have your own food on the table, your arrogance will arise. When you are starving, such a thought will never occur. You would never hate someone who comes for help when you are suffering from starvation. You cannot hate it. If you sense arrogance in such a situation, then it is beyond question that you have your own on the table. When someone approaches you for help during your period of hardship, you would never hate that person.
Yet, when a contributor boasts about it, you may hate someone who comes to help.
However, there can be an instance where you hate someone who comes to help. It is when a contributor boasts about it. The questioner’s case will fall under this category. When you are in need of a certain amount of help, but the person provides only with a fraction of the help you need. You hate the contributor because that person boasts about help when it has never met your expectations. You think, “why is that person giving me a sermon while boasting about such a small contribution I’m not even satisfied with?” You begin to hate that person. Why? Because there lies a principle.
Law of 3:7 – if you help by contributing 100%, you are only allowed to interfere or open your mouth up to 30% of your contribution.
When you approach your counterpart to help, say if you help by contributing 100%, you are only allowed to interfere or open your mouth up to 30% of the energy your contribution justifies. If the condition is met, then the receiver will always listen to what you say. This is because of the law of 3:7.
As a human being, our self-esteem always outweighs the mere energy of a materialistic contribution.
And also as a human being, one’s self-esteem always outweighs the mere energy of a materialistic contribution. So, when you contribute by giving out 100% because that person is in need of 100%, and if you would like for the receiver to accept your criticism and to accept your advice, you should do so by with no more than 30% of your contribution. However, when a contributor boasts about a 100 and even begins to criticize with the greed for self-satisfaction, when in fact only 30 has been contributed, then the feeling of hatred will definitely come to light for the receiver. Of course, you will hate the contributor.
Simply because that person has crossed the line. When only 30 was initially given to help, the contributor should have criticized accordingly without exceeding the contributed amount. When a case of exceeding ensues repeatedly, that is how you turn out to hate someone who comes to help.
The other case: you favor a person even though you give him/her constantly. It’s because the person shows gratitude for your help.
Next, on the saying, “a person you unconditionally favor no matter how much you bear a loss”, you fancy the person because that person shows gratitude for your help. That person appreciates you every time you help and listens and adheres to your words. So over time, you grow fond of that person. We are always programmed this way.
As you contribute a material, you gain the person’s favor. Yet, just providing a material doesn’t mean you are helping.
You would want for your counterpart to like you and appreciate and listen to you, so you make a contribution by giving away your material. Keep in mind that you are not helping, for you are merely contributing a material. When you provide a material to your counterpart, then it is so that the person will appreciate your donation and will grow fond of you. You have to know this principle. You contribute a material to gain the counterpart’s favor.
How you would come to hate the helper, falls under this same principle. You hate the contributor because that person has failed to hand out correctly. Thus, you grow hate for that person. That also means you have to give out correctly as well to avoid making the receiver hate you. Now, this is the law of 3:7.
If you contribute to that person, give out 30% of an advice.
If you contribute to that person, give out only 30% of an advice. When an advice is worth 30% of the energy you initially provided with material, and when you brag only up to 30% of the energy, the receiver will always accept. We should wisely use the law of 3:7. Let us delve deeper into it.
When you provide a material to your counterpart, that person will favor you and listen to you. Now, what should be the next step?
If you don’t take additional action after giving materials, you hinder that person from growing self-reliance and gaining social adaptation.
If no action is achieved beyond this point, then you are the one to blame for this misconduct. You are responsible for making that person harass the action of receiving help. You hinder that person from growing self-reliance, eventually leading to a loss of social adaptation.
As a contributor, you hold responsibility in leading that person to a right path.
You are causing that person’s inability to live properly. Therefore, once the receiver grows fond of you, you hold responsibility in leading that person to a right path. You try to fill that person’s deficiency, provide the means to grow own strength, give out any useful information, try to lead the person to adapt, etc. Make an effort to lead that person into the right way.
Help for the body should always be accompanied by help for the mind.
But make sure to keep in mind that too much help can be a bad thing. The scope of your help should not exceed 30% of your contribution to that person. And by contributing a material, I mean any type of contribution pertaining to the physical body, be it rice, clothes, shelter, etc. Help for the body should always be accompanied by help for the mind.
If you have correctly helped for 30 years, the receiver should have been transformed to live an independent and noble life.
Nagging can be an example. If proper nagging is spoken, it can be used as a medicine for your counterpart, as a strength to gain energy. But when you lack the quality of energy, your nagging can only serve to be an interference.
If you hastily go out your way to help when you lack in energy and ability, that counterpart will only have put up with more difficulty. You have seen that person string along with hardship for 30 years, and yet you think you helped. The truth is that you’ve never helped him. And furthermore, you will eventually see that person betray you. This is how the principle works.
And according to this principle, the person you have correctly helped for 30 years should have now been equipped with the ability to stand alone, to learn not to beg, and to live a noble life. If done so right for even 3 years, your counterpart should have been transformed to live an independent, noble life.
The contributor’s inability will make the receiver keep enduring the same way of a difficult life.
How come you say you helped for 30 years, and yet your counterpart still endures the same way of life? You will definitely be let down by your counterpart and withstand betrayal as a result of incorrectly trying to help.
The ‘help’, in reality, was a means to carry on with your boasting and to put up with your ‘well-behaved’ image. Your pretentious actions will be retaliated by getting stabbed in the back from that very person, okay? Do you understand? (Yes) (Clapping)