I saw my mother in my dream right before I woke up this morning. The scene brought me a surge of emotions that I felt when I was a child. It made me feel like waking up at home of my childhood.Also, I felt another feeling that was opposite to the emotions of my childhood. It was an absolute responsibility of myself and my life. That second surge of the emotion flew into my heart. That brought deep gratitude from inside.
Which one is more dramatic? A real life, or a reality show? How about a life like a reality show?
Life sometimes put us on top of the mountains, sometimes throw us at the bottom of the valleys. After repeating the dramatic changes, we learn how to become humble.
Especially when I left all my credits that I’ve built for 19 years as leaving my previous job, I had to start over with humility.
As I began the second half of my life, I couldn’t afford to complain about life. I couldn’t afford to blame other people. I couldn’t waste my time and emotional energy for whining. Actually, I felt strong determination and responsibility of my second half-life. That responsibility brought up gratitude. It’s an absolute gratitude. I mean that even though I didn’t have any reason to thank, I felt grateful.
I appreciate that I’m healthy. I appreciate my amazing wife – she is my best friend and my life’s partner -. I appreciate my old t-shirts, sneakers and my humble material possessions that I’ve been using for years. I appreciate all the lessons that life tries to teach me.
Seriously I can’t afford to complain about anything. Deep inside I know that at the moment I choose to complain or blame, my life will tumble down. That’s why I feel determination behind my everyday life attitude. As I feel the absolute responsibility of my life, no longer I can find reasons to waste my life. Beyond that, I feel a strong sense of my life’s mission.
If I’m not satisfied with any situation, I can change it. There are so many ways to change things: I can have a conversation with people involved, I can learn more knowledge, I can change my habits or decisions. Of course, none of them are easy. Sometimes it takes months or years to change. However, complaining cannot change anything.
I’ve experienced a lot of positive changes for the past a few years. It just required my determination, perseverance, and a hope. (sometimes decisiveness)
Thank God for this amazing Saturday morning. I’m grateful.
