Dreams have told me many stories of my subconsciousness. After I left my previous job, I went through an intense transitioning. In this journal, I’m going to write the first pattern of my dream: the Escape. If the title offends you, please forgive me. I’m not writing this journal to blame anyone, but I’m writing to heal my memories and to move on to my next growth.
I left the organization in December 2015. It was my own choice. However, I could not choose my dreams. The first pattern that I had for the first year was escaping from the organization. I left the organization in my outer consciousness. But, once I fell in a sleep, I was still working at the organization.
I dreamt almost every night in the beginning. It was an uncomfortable feeling. In my dream, I didn’t remember that I left the organization. That’s what made me frustrated when I woke up. ‘Why am I still working for them?’ The atmosphere in my dream was intense, nervous, forceful, and manipulative. My choices in my dreams were the same: the escape.
One dream, I found myself in a city which looked like a maze made of walls without roofs. So I could look down the whole city. My ex-coworkers were working there. I decided to escape from the city. I found a minibus parked in the center of the city. Passed a few chambers surrounded by walls. In the chambers, several co-workers expressed anger or hatred toward me when I passed by. It was an uncomfortable feeling.
Finally, I found the bus and hopped in the driver’s seat. Started the engine. But it didn’t work. Instead, the bus started rolling backward. It was parked on a slope and the parking brake was not working. Scared. I put my foot on the brake pedal, and press down as hard as I could as praying “please stop… please stop…” But it didn’t work.
The rear part of the bus banged against the wall. I realized that the wall was old and fragile. The impact spread through the entire wall network in the city. They started cracking and tumbling down. Then, the scene in my dream was changed.
Another Short Dream
We were all nervous sitting in a 4 wheel truck in the middle of the night. I was driving the truck and 2 ex-coworkers sitting in a passenger seat and a back seat. We’re sitting on the edges of the chairs, leaning forward, watching the road condition nervously. The road was rough and winding upward along the edge of a cliff. We couldn’t see well because the night was so dark. Looked like driving upward from the bottom of Grand Canyon. (I’m familiar with the Grand Canyon trails because I’ve run several trainings there. That’s why it showed up in my dream.)
Then, suddenly the road started cracking and collapsing as an earthquake shook the road. I stepped on a gas pedal to get out of the collapsing. But the cracks spread faster. Soon, our truck got stuck and the tires spin idly. We got off the truck and found out that our truck was hanging on the rock. We felt extremely frustrated and fearful because we couldn’t make it. Then, the scene was changed.
Even though my dreams had the same pattern, the scenes were different. Sometimes, I escaped from a forest; a desert; an underground cave city; a training hall; and so on. It was countless. This pattern continued for more than a year.
When I woke up, I felt so frustrated. ‘Why was I deceived again? I’m not working there anymore. Why am I still manipulated?’ Those dreams continued for a few consecutive nights, then gave me a break for a few days. Then it repeated.
Every night, I prayed before I slept. ‘Please protect me, please guide me.’ One night, I started to see a bright light in front of my eyes. I thought that I forgot to turn off the light. When I opened my eyes to check, I found that the light was off. Then, I realized that White Light was surrounding me. (Does it sound strange? Actually, it’s a peaceful feeling.) Since then, right before I fell into a sleep, I saw the beautiful white light. Then, I could transit into my dream state comfortably.
During my day time, I worked hard to meditate and examine my old belief. I healed my dreams and my memories. No more hideous nightmares. Most of all, I met Jungbub (Righteous Ways of Living). Since one of my acquaintances introduced me to Jungbub, I listened to the lectures every day through YouTube. It gave me strength and clarity, so started to plan the year of 2017.
That’s how my 2016 passed by.