My Fourth Day of Dong-ahn-guh (winter meditation retreat)
I visualize the people who have hurt me. When I separate myself from them, I tend to make up bad stories. Those stories are not true. They are just exaggerated by my imagination. Even worse, the stories usually spiral down to the bottom of a black hole.
Then, I change the plot. Expand my consciousness and embrace them. My consciousness encompasses theirs and sees the situation through their perspective. I write completely different stories.
Even when they talk to me seriously or threaten me, I can make a joke and smoothe the situation. I understand why they talk like that. I know it’s not that serious. We can fix it together and improve easily. We don’t need to make it worse. Useless! I imagine that I explain well, use their language, let them know that I understand them.
My friend, if you think I’m separate from you, your fear may make you tense and make the situation even worse. You can expand your mind and get out of your small box. We can see from this collective perspective.
Sometimes I have to reject their suggestions/orders/offers. I practice rejecting them without offending. My friend, please don’t take it as personal. I reject your offer because it’s not my job anymore. You can find somebody who can work with you. At this point, your homework and my homework are different.
At first, this practice -rejecting- made me uncomfortable. Fortunately, the more I practice, the more comfortable I become.
The entire practice makes me feel good and empowered. It’s a fun exercise.