My Jungbub Journal – Thirty Eighth Day of Dong-ahn-guh (winter meditation retreat)
Meeting with J from Sedona
My wife and I met J.
It’s been raining on the island for a few days, so we didn’t have many choices to visit. J was just interested in talking with us rather than sightseeing. We just comfortably drove the island.
We headed to the north side. Wanted to visit Hanalei but because of the heavy rain and the landslide, the road was blocked.
Just stopped one of the towns before Hanalei and talked. Then, moved to the next town and talked with a different topic. Like that, we moved and talked. The weather didn’t bother us.
I asked about B and S. Since I left, I worried about them. She shared a lot of stories that had happened in Sedona.
This meeting was very meaningful because it’s been three years since we left the organization. It’s like a celebration. Also, it can be a meeting to report how we overcame all the obstacles and made a foundation for our growth in the last three years.
Who else can understand our experiences? We are the only people fully understand each other and what we’ve gone through. It was a very precious meeting. She was very happy to talk to us. We also enjoyed it a lot.
Feel weaker when being doubted
The day was perfect until we came back home.
We were very tired. I wanted to sleep early. Yet, I couldn’t sleep until 2 am.
I can’t write about it in detail because I’m still not clear what happened.
One thing that I can say is when somebody doubts me, I feel weaker. For sure, if I really want someone to fail, all I have to do is to doubt the person with all my worries. Then, the person becomes weaker and weaker over time and eventually will fail.
I’m not sure if I can change whether other people doubt me or believe me. They can doubt their own lives, futures, the government or whatever. I can’t change that. Yet, I can change how I react to that feeling -doubt-. My question is how? For sure, I don’t need to hang around those people who doubt me.