My Jungbub Journal – Thirty Fourth Day of Dong-ahn-guh (winter meditation retreat)

 

Do I belong here?

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I went to parents-in-law’s house with my wife and prepared the Christmas party. And in the evening, joined the party.

Sometimes, I don’t feel I belong here. When I talk to people, I don’t feel much connection with them. Does it come from cultural differences, or is it my personality? I tried not to show my feeling but I don’t want to ignore that feeling either.

Last night, I was confused so I couldn’t write the journal. Now, I’m writing yesterday’s journal in the next morning.

Another question is how I discern whether I should say no to something that I don’t want or I should accept it as my study even though I don’t want to.

One thing that is clear to me is that I can’t help people without understanding them. Yesterday, I was not good at seeing the situation from the window of other’s perspective. During this dong-ahn-guh, I will pay more attention to understanding from others’ perspectives.