My Jungbub Journal – Twenty-seventh Day of Dong-ahn-guh (winter meditation retreat)


Tiredness in my eyes and head


(I’m not used to writing a journal during the day yet. I’ll keep trying. The Pomodoro app helps me as providing a time reference though.)

Since the last night, I’m experiencing heavy tiredness in my eyes and head. I couldn’t sleep well. My wife also had a hard time to breathe while sleeping. She texted me that she’s very tired too.

Hmmm… What happened?

In my case, I put a lot of energy to finish the recent web design project of an attorneys office. When I work, I literally shoot my energy into the monitor through my eyes. For the website to be born, I project an enormous amount of energy into it. That makes me tired a lot.

It’s different fatigue than physical fatigue. When it becomes worse, behind of my eyes feel excruciating. The center of my brain feels like the vacuum or a black hole. It seems to suck everything.

This morning, I went to the beach. – It takes 2 minutes by walking.- Looked up the rising sun. The sunlight helps a lot when I have this kind of tiredness. After coming back, I took care of plants in our lanai. Then, I read books before starting the work. My brain absorbed the book as if a vacuum cleaner sucks air. Read so fast.

When I experience this symptom, I can’t sleep. How can I sleep with the black hole or vacuum space in the middle of my brain? Feels so empty.

The best thing that I can do is prevention. I should watch my energy, focus, and work more carefully. I should not overwork.

When I experience bearable tiredness, it makes me feel great. Gives me the sense that I did my best. It also helps to improve my strength and to develop my expertise.

But, when it surpasses my capacity, it ruins my next day.

Now, I understand the unique aspects of IT work. I should manage my energy and time better.


Oahu Trip on Friday


My wife and I made a plan to visit Oahu on Friday evening. It will be a three-day trip (12/21 – 12/23).
In my three-day time block, my consciousness is already stretching to Friday and planning what I should finish on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. The better I prepare, the more fun we will have.

It will be a great time for us. I never left this small island since the last visit to Maui in summer 2017.